"TRES"
Why, hello there my adoring public!
Although I am a little miffed at having been disturbed from my afternoon beauty rest and sunbathing routine (one of my favorite pastimes), I believe I can spare a moment or two of my valuable free time to tell you a little bit about myself...
They believe I was born in March 2009, so I am a little over 2 years old. One day, as I was out minding my own business, I was attacked by a canine who thought I looked like his next meal. Luckily he only managed to injure one of my legs before I stealthily made my escape. Fortunately, B.A.R.C.S. was able to rescue me and send me to Everhart Veterinary Hospital so that one of their awesome Doctors (Dr. Anne Notarangelo) could save me by removing my severely damaged leg.
During my recovery, one of Everhart's Kennel Assistants, Allie, decided I was so very majestic, way beyond handsome and obviously extremely talented, she decided to take me home!
Each morning promptly at 6:30am she feeds me my morning cuisine (or else she is reminded (not-so-gently) by a bite on the hand. (One cannot keep their master waiting whilst they laze away the morning, you know!) My favorite snacks include cheese and ice cream (although I am rarely allowed a taste of this oh-so-delightful treat). My human tells me it is not good for me, but if it TASTES good, HOW CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?!
Sometime after my morning meal, I decide whether a royal sunbathing nap is warranted or if I want to play with my stuffed mouse or favorite green ball. I can play fetch, I often rest my missing limb stump on the toy, I occasionally allow my human to degrade me in private by dressing me up in silly t-shirts, as well as sitting on command. Frankly, these are merely my secret ways of making her believe she is in charge...therefore, she will bring on the treats and all the rubbing and snuggling one needs to feel loved!
I am also known to get into lots of other mischief, much of which my legal counsel has advised me not to mention by name!
Well, it looks like our time is over, I am getting sleepy again...in the meanwhile, make sure to tell Allie to pick up some Cherry Garcia when she comes home from work! All this talk about ice cream has got me all worked up!
....(yawn)....Nighty Night!